Flashfic: Meanwhile, Out on the Roads…

(This vignette was inspired by a story in progress at the Eos Chronicles site. That’s site’s webmaster has given me the OK to write vignettes based on events in his story. So far this is the second. Here’s the first: Meanwhile, Downtown…)

In the middle of any incident, even one that ‘makes 300 million people very nervous’, life must go on. Even the petty and not-so-petty criminals in the involved area will go on doing what they do. Some people never learn…

Most motorists driving south on the Sprain Brook Parkway in Greenburgh gave only a cursory glance, if
that, at the Jeep Liberty in the right lane. As they approached it, however, many began to slow down, believing it to be a police vehicle, though a small one. And one with dark tinted windows. And… SECURITY on the side?!

Once most saw the side markings, they naturally sped up again, leaving the vehicle behind them. A few may have wondered at the very dark windows, since in New York State those are guaranteed to draw the attention of real law enforcement. But, hey, that’s their problem, right?

But an approaching motorist in a Dodge Avenger, under the influence of spite or some kind of intoxicant — or maybe both — decided to play a game with the rent-a-cop car. He honked his horn as he sped past, then immediately darted into the SUV’s lane and cut it off. The SUV’s headlights flashed him twice in response, then pulled into the center lane to pass. This started a game of speed-up-and-slow-down, with the Avenger’s driver growing increasingly irritated that the SUV’s driver would not accept “defeat” and stay back.

Finally, probably inspired by watching too much TV. he pulled next to the Liberty in the center lane as it tried once again to pass, this time on the right side since the Avenger’s driver was apparently unable to take a hint. He began inching over towards the right lane, trying to force the SUV off the road. But before he could get too far in his intended course, he saw flashing lights in his rear-view mirror. This time it was a police car. An unmistakable black-and-white Dodge Charger with the markings shared by all Westchester County Police cars used for traffic detail.

Not wanting to challenge a real cop, he allowed the Liberty to pass as he eased his car into the right lane, then onto the shoulder, with the Charger pulling over behind him. But why was the Liberty pulling over also? It was a ways ahead of him, but it actually backed up until it was almost right against his bumper.

He waited, wondering what was taking the “county mountie” so long to get out of the car when he looked back and realized — there was no one in the driver’s seat! He hadn’t checked while he was moving, reacting solely to the flashing lights. But there was movement coming from the car — the passenger door had swung open, and a small black something cleared the door and began moving closer to his car. Along with the black object floated something round and shiny. He thought it might have been handcuffs, but he wasn’t sure; the black thing blocked most of the shiny thing from view. Not that it would have mattered; neither vehicle had left him enough clearance to be able to pull off and escape whatever was in store…

The Jeep’s rear hatch swung had also open, revealing a duffel bag that was unzipping. His jaw bounced off the steering wheel when he saw a… wad of fabric rising from the duffel bag. A limp long-sleeved jersey top floated free of the bag as if invisible hands had lifted it. The top then began to tumble through the air, just inches above the SUV’s cargo floor, until it was pulled down over an unseen form that filled it very nicely. But… there was not nearly enough space in the back of this SUV for anyone to get dressed. The driver continued to watch as the top then came to rest on its bottom hem, looking for all the world like it was attached to the cargo floor.

A folded pair of jeans then floated up out of the bag, also filling out in midair to shapely curves, also without enough room for a woman of any size to fit there. The jeans came to rest next to the jersey top, which began to move unseen hands at the ends of its sleeves up and down the jeans, looking like one half-dressed invisible woman feeling up another.

While he sat staring at these pieces of clothing, the items he saw leaving the police car floated into his car through the open front passenger-door window — a pair of handcuffs and a small black package of some kind. He panicked when he saw the handcuffs, pushing the driver’s door open but as soon as he did, the door slammed itself shut as the cuffs made short work of cuffing him. The package opened, revealing a black nylon cord which tied itself to his cuffs, then tied its other end around the steering column to basically immobilize the reckless driver.

The clothing in the back of the SUV then climbed out and made their way over to the passenger side of the hotfoot’s car, which helpfully opened the front door on that side. The jeans climbed in, after which the top floated in and inserted itself into the jeans, reaching over and pulling the door shut with unseen hands. The duffel bag floated through the open window, coming to rest in the outfit’s lap. All three cars started up at that point and pulled into traffic, as the clothing in the Avenger’s front passenger seat pointed an empty sleeve at the former driver’s crotch. His pants began to unzip as a silk scarf slithered out of the bag and began to crawl across the console towards the driver.

As his car pulled out into traffic, apparently under its own power, the scarf arrived at the driver’s open jeans. One corner reached into the jeans, through his y-fronts, and began to play with him…

Later, well after nightfall, a young man was walking along West Street in Mount Vernon, just outside the Metro North train station. He grabbed the top of the window of an older hatchback sedan and began pulling upward and outward, figuring he might be able to get into the car without technically breaking the window. Once he pulled the window pane free of the door, he opened the door from the inside and went to work hot-wiring the car. The man was so intent on making off with this car that he hadn’t noticed the totally noiseless activity taking place in the back seat.

To all appearances — that is to those who would have been looking in the back seat — there were two invisible people getting busy. Two half-dressed invisible people. A men’s t-shirt moved around on top of a dress that fit tightly against an unseen figure. The sleeves of the dress were wrapped around the t-shirt. The t-shirt, being short-sleeved, could not reciprocate. Nonetheless, neither garment was particularly happy about the interruption. As the t-shirt pulled away, the dress waved a sleeve towards the front of the car.

The car then started, much to the surprise of the man trying to steal it. Before he could react, though, something grabbed his feet and lifted him into the air. Whatever it was had grabbed only his feet, but his whole body rose into the air and landed on the bench seat, which helpfully slid back as far as it could go. At this point the clothes in the backseat, which had slid into the car through the open window for some privacy, resumed their earlier activities as the car pulled off with the would-be thief lying in the front seat, restrained with bonds he couldn’t see. As the car pulled off, an MTA Police vehicle parked in the closed MTA command center across the street flashed its lights and honked its horn, in a show of support. Whatever happened to the attempted thief from here on out, it wouldn’t involve any police vehicles, from the MTA or any other police agency…


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